Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? (tebtosca) wrote,
Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
tebtosca

FIC: Send Someone to Love Me (Jared/Jensen)

Title: Send Someone to Love Me
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4200
Warnings: hooker!Jared, virgin!Jensen
Disclaimer: Don't own, still broke

Prompt: J1 is a celebrated, but isolated author, churning out great novels but living alone and away from people. His latest novel, however, has relationships and sex in it, something J1 has never really experienced. His editor has just sent it back to him with the note that it's completely unrealistic. 

J2 is a high priced escort, hired to travel out to the middle of nowhere to 'do business' with a reclusive, virgin client, J1. J1 figures he can't write about sex unless he experiences it, and tells J2 he needs to learn everything. J2 is amused but professional and gentle, correctly surmising that J1's objective demeanor is covering nerves, and can only laugh when J1 pauses things from time to time to take exhaustive notes. 

And then they live happily ever after writing books together. The End. :D


Written for blindfold_spn and posted HERE


 

 

“It’s kind of…mechanical.”

Jensen pressed the phone to his forehead for a moment to block out the tinny sound of his agent’s voice before answering. “Misha, I did what you wanted me to do. You wanted sex, you have sex. Can you leave me alone now?”

“Jensen, listen to me. Nick St. James is a passionate guy. What’s wrong with wanting to see him get a little action? It’s time, man,” Misha sighed, frustration creeping into his tone.

“Nick St. James is a computer hacking spy. What part of that screams love interest?” Jensen huffed, even though he knew the answer.

“James Bond.”

“Shut up, Misha.”

There’s a pause like Misha is trying to weigh his words before he just spits it out. “Look, it’s what the publisher wants, what the public wants. There’s talk about optioning the rights out and you can’t pass that up. All I ask is that you write something that doesn’t make it sound like you’ve never touched a pair of tits before.”

Jensen tried to stifle a choked gurgle, but couldn’t quite manage it.

“Oh my god, Jensen, you’ve never touched a pair of tits before.” It was a statement, not a question and Misha’s voice sounded a little stunned.

“Who said I want to?” Jensen asked, quiet and almost sad.

“Oh. Oh. That’s, well, okay, that’s okay,” Misha mumbled a little, obviously trying to figure out how this conversation had ended up here. “So. Hmm. You’re gay. That doesn’t have to be a problem here. Just think about how you feel when you have sex and put a twist on it. Maybe be more vague on the actual parts, and just go with the sensation.”

Jensen felt his entire face flame red and was mortified, even though Misha was 500 miles away in his office in Manhattan and couldn’t see him. “I don’t. Well, I never. I mean, I don’t have a reference for any sensation.”

“Jesus Christ, Jensen, are you telling me you’re a gay virgin?” Misha blurted and Jensen almost coughed up a lung.

“Well when you say it like that….” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it, Jen. Just trust me. You trust me, right?” Misha asked, his voice suddenly firm and confident. That made Jensen even more wary.

“No, I really don’t,” Jensen replied, but he heard the dial tone buzzing in his ear and knew it was too late.

*****

Jensen hadn’t meant to run away five years prior when he used his first big royalty check to buy his cabin in the woods of Maine. He told himself he would just go there to clear his head enough to write better, longer, tighter. He hadn’t expected the silence to calm the constant coil of fear in his belly, but it did and he was grateful. He had told himself that he didn’t need more than what the cabin could give him and no one had bothered him as long as his manuscripts ended up promptly in Misha’s mailbox. Now, however, they were asking him to experience something that terrified him through his writing and it felt like a corruption of his only safe place. 

He sighed and leaned his head back against the back of his huge clawfoot tub. The water, tepid now from an hour of quiet contemplation, moved in waves as his hand brushed inner edge of his thigh. He breathed in the scent of balsam coming from the open window and it calmed him. Slowly, he moved his hand until it cradled his cock, which was half hard now just from the all too rare touch. This he could do. His hand couldn’t reject him or tell him he was going to hell or that he was a dirty sinner who would never have anyone to love him. His touch grew firmer and his breath sped up as he let his brain shut down for a moment.

The phone rang suddenly, pulling him abruptly out of his reverie. He groaned when he heard Misha’s voice over the answering machine (and the fact that he was the only person left on earth with an answering machine never went uncommented on) and let his head drift down into the water. It covered his ears and he noted blissfully that Misha’s voice was suddenly nothing more than a replica of Charlie Brown’s teacher. 

He went back to stroking but this time he couldn’t help his mind from drifting back in time to a ball field in the Texas sun. To a long neck with sweat rolling down it as slow as molasses. To an overwhelmed boy sitting in the stands wishing he could catch that sweat with his tongue and drink it down like sweet tea. To a smile that the boy pretended was aimed at him, but went right past his head to a pair of full breasts and slim ankles pressed against his back. 

He was close, so close, his hand moved fast enough now to splash water outside the tub until he was startled by what sounded like knocking at his front door. 

“What the hell!” Jensen huffed, as he jumped out of the tub and dried himself enough to pull on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He grabbed his glasses off the counter and put them on as he blinked water off his eyelashes. His cock wasn’t pleased with the interruption and twitched angrily inside of his pants as he pressed a palm down to calm it.

He was at the door before he realized with horror that there was an actual non-Misha person standing outside his sanctuary. Willing himself to not start wheezing, he shouted “who the hell is it?” through the wood. He wanted to sound intimidating, but it came out panicked.

“Hi Jensen, my name is Jared. Misha sent me to help you,” a voice responded, calm and in a drawl that made Jensen both wince and want to stick his hand down his pants.

“I don’t believe you! Misha knows I don’t want to see anyone, so just go away!”

The voice remained steady. “Misha said to check your machine. He said he would call to confirm that I’m legit.”

Jensen eyed the blinking red light wildly and pressed the button with shaking hands. 

“Jensen, listen to me. I know you are freaking out right now, but don’t be. I want to help you, and I think the only way I can do that is to force your hand here. Jared is a professional. He’s there for the weekend and I want you to let him help you experience what it’s like to be with another person. Jensen, you need this. You can’t live your life never knowing what it’s like to feel things. Trust me, that’s all I ask. I’ve let you be for longer than I should have and part of me thinks I failed you. Let yourself go for once in your life. And goddamit enjoy your present.”

Jensen stared at the machine as Misha’s voice cut-off, too flabbergasted to speak.

“So, can I come in?” Jared asked, his voice tinged with a hint of amusement.

Sheer anger helped Jensen reclaim the power of speech and he nearly snarled as he pulled open the door. “Misha sent me a fucking hooker!”

Jensen gasped as he finally saw the present on his doorstep. Jared was….everything Jensen had ever wanted and yet told himself he should never need. Tall and endlessly long, golden brown muscles pressing through white cotton, hair flopping over his hazel eyes that made him look younger than he probably was. He smiled when he saw Jensen and it was like a black and white movie suddenly converted to Technicolor. 

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s okay, Jensen. I do,” Jared murmured kindly, his smile softer than it was a moment before. His eyes flicked down Jensen’s body in an almost imperceptible way and it made him hotly aware that he was standing there with wet hair, skin flushed red and wrinkled from his bath, and a pair of sweatpants that did little to conceal his suddenly raging hard-on.

Jensen felt his entire body tingle with some strange anticipation and before he knew what he was doing, he was opening the door to let Jared into the cabin. 

*****

I’m not used to making enough food for two people. Obviously.” 

Jared smiled slightly and shook his head. “It’s okay, Jensen. I ate a big lunch earlier.”

Jensen felt a thrill shoot through him at the way his name sounded draped around Jared’s tongue. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment to regain his balance, but it was nearly impossible. The strangest feeling was washing over him, a mixture of absolute terror and overwhelming ease. Jared’s presence was doing this to him, and he didn’t understand why he hadn’t told him to leave immediately after he discovered Misha had sent him a hooker. Jensen felt his ears burning as he thought about what exactly Jared had been paid to come here and do.

Jared put his fork down and looked at Jensen with thoughtful stare, like he was trying to figure out the best way to proceed without making Jensen run screaming into the woods.

“What do you usually do to relax, Jensen?” he asked, repeating his name again, like it was important. Jensen looked up at him, startled out of his daydream.

“Um, well, I write. But my current subject isn’t exactly relaxing,” Jensen mumbled as he was suddenly hit with flashes of Nick St. James the computer hacker spy on his knees to a tall gorgeous Texan, dimples indenting his cheeks as he peered down with dark eyes.

“How about a bath?” Jared suggested, taking the reins. “I have a feeling I interrupted you earlier and you do have that big beauty of a tub in there.”

Jensen’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull and he felt his glasses fall down his nose. “You want me to take a bath with you?” he nearly squeaked, as Jared couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“I want to make you feel good, Jensen. I want to teach you what your body can do.”

His voice was low and deep and it shot straight to Jensen’s dick. Jared obviously took his slight twitch as a green light, as he stood up and grabbed Jensen firmly by the hand. Without further conversation, he pulled him into the bathroom and ran his hands lightly over Jensen’s shoulders.

“You are so beautiful, Jensen,” Jared murmured, pressing in closer and moving his lips lightly over his jawline. “You don’t even need me.”

Jensen realized he was holding his breath. “I need you.” His voice was so faint he didn’t even realize he said it.

Jared moved over and pressed his lips chastely to Jensen’s, no intent behind it, waiting for him to respond. His huge hands moved soothingly up and down Jensen’s sides, trying to stop the trembling under his fingertips. 

Jensen felt like he was dying, but in the most glorious way. His skin was on fire from one kiss and he couldn’t even fathom how he could feel more than this. Yet he desperately wanted to find out, so he opened his mouth slightly. Jared took his signal and pushed his tongue past Jensen’s plush lips, gentle enough not to startle him, but firmly enough to make sure he knew that he was serious.

Jensen made a noise deep in his throat and pushed into his mouth. His glasses bumped Jared’s nose then and Jensen remembered just how awkward he was. Mortified, he tried to pull back, but Jared’s hands pulled tight around his waist and pressed them groin to groin. He moved one hand up to Jensen’s face, took the wire rims off gently, and placed it down on the counter. “That’s better,” he breathed, dipping his mouth back into Jensen’s.

They kissed for what seemed like an hour before Jared finally moved to lift Jensen’s shirt off. The bliss of the previous contact wore off as he realized that this huge Adonis of a man was going to see how pale and skinny he was. Jensen tensed immediately, but Jared just threw the shirt away and ran slightly calloused hands across his nipples until he was shivering with want.

Time stood still as Jared started running the bath before coming back to undress him. Jensen was thankful that he didn’t have his glasses on, the blurriness helping him believe that Jared was merely his most glorious fantasy come to life. But then Jared picked him up and placed him in the bath and his almost-orgasm brought reality crashing back.

“Can I?” Jared whispered, his tongue licking the shell of Jensen’s ear. He was kneeling beside the tub, fully clothed, his hand skimming the surface of the water.

Jensen opened his eyes finally and Jared was right there, his breath on his cheek, his eyes warm but with pupils so dilated that his want was obvious. Jensen couldn’t bring himself to speak, but he nodded slightly. His erection was sticking up hard and red from the water and Jared’s huge hand wrapped around it with purpose. Jensen gasped as his thumb moved over the crown and rubbed the precome that dripped out of the top down the length of him.

The only sounds in the room were Jensen’s panted breaths and the obscene splashing of the water as Jared jacked him, twisting his wrist every time he hit the top, pulling back down all the way to the base. He watched Jensen’s face the entire time, his mouth slack and passive but his eyes intense with some weird emotion. 

It didn’t last long and Jensen was painting his belly and Jared’s fist with white before the water was even lukewarm. Jared pressed another kiss to Jensen’s lips and smiled against them.

*****

For the first time in his life, Jensen woke up next to another person’s body. It was so foreign to him that at first he tried to pull away, but Jared was already awake enough to pull him back into his warmth. Deciding to not fight how unbearably good it felt to feel skin against skin, Jensen curled around Jared and put his head right over his heartbeat.

They hadn’t done anything else that evening besides lying together and kissing. The incident in the bathtub (as Jensen was calling it in his mind) had already drained him more than he could have imagined, and he didn’t have the emotional stability to go past it all at once. Jared hadn’t pushed him and had merely wrapped his ridiculously long body around him like a heating blanket. Jensen felt warm and safe. And loved. As insane as it seemed, he actually felt loved. His heart nearly beat out of his chest at the mere thought.

“Why do you do this?” Jensen blurted out, not knowing why the need to know suddenly overwhelmed his sense of decorum. He felt Jared tense for the first time since they met, and looked up to see his face.

His dimples had smoothed out, and Jensen wanted to press his thumbs into his cheeks to make them reappear, desperate to get the suddenly sad look of his face. “I’m sorry, Jared, it’s none of my business. I mean, you’re the first person I, I mean, oh god, I don’t know why I asked, so I’ll shut up now.”

That brought a light smile back to Jared’s lips and he smoothed a hand over Jensen’s sleep rumpled hair. “Well, it’s not like I planned it, of course. Went to New York to go to school but my parents didn’t have enough money to cover tuition and living expenses so I listened to a friend of mine who worked for an escort agency. The money ended up being too good to stop and, well--”

He paused, frowning slightly. “Wow, I’ve never actually told anyone that before.”

Jensen flushed red and couldn’t keep himself from beaming. “What did you want to be?”

It was Jared’s turn to blush and it made Jensen want to rub his face against his skin until he could feel the blood burning into him. “This is going to sound silly, especially to you, but I was going to be a writer.”

Jensen guffawed without thinking and instantly felt bad when Jared’s mouth twisted. “No, no, I think it’s amazing,” he whispered, peppering kisses all over his face until it relaxed again. “I mean, you’re here to make me a better writer. It just surprised me, that’s all.”

Jared relaxed again and pressed his fingers lightly to Jensen’s cheeks. “So what about you, Jensen? How does someone as hot and talented as you stay a virgin this long? I would have thrown myself at your feet if we went to school together.”

Jensen felt sad then, and he wasn’t sure if it was the question or the implication that they could have been something more, something real, under different circumstances. His mouth tilted down into a frown and Jared made to smooth it out with his thumb. 

“Hey, now, I didn’t mean to make you sad. You’re just so beautiful, you have all these freckles all over your face and when you blush it makes them stand out…your eyes are so green, almost like polished glass…and your mouth, Jensen, your mouth makes me forget my own name.” Jared only hesitated a moment before rolling over and pressing Jensen’s body deep into the mattress with his own. His legs parted instinctually and wrapped around Jared’s waist, pulling a groan out of him. 

Within seconds they were grinding against each other like wild animals, cocks pressed together yet separated by two thin layers of cotton. Jared had just enough control left to pull them both out of their boxers before he wrapped one gigantic hand around both their lengths and pulled roughly. 

Jensen moaned around Jared’s mouth but refused to part from him, ravenous for his spit and the bitter taste of sleep as he sucked on his tongue. Nothing had ever felt this good, and he almost started crying when he realized that nothing probably ever will. With that thought, he was spilling himself over Jared’s hand and cock, and the extra lubrication was enough for Jared to finish himself off as well. 

They laid together in a heap, foreheads touched together in silence, breathing as one.

*****

They spent the rest of the day just being together, taking a short hike in the woods and lying on the couch watching television. Jensen even let Jared read some unfinished chapters that Misha hadn’t even laid eyes on yet, and it felt more intimate than having Jared’s hand wrapped around his dick. He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath as Jared read, until he finished and looked up at him with a look that ranged somewhere between admiration and awe. Every cell in Jensen’s body screamed at him to break eye contact, but he didn’t, and it felt like a victory when Jared leaned in to kiss him softly.

They took a bath together after dinner, Jared behind him with legs and arms wrapped tight around him. He ran his knuckles across Jensen’s stomach, touch light as a feather but full of the promise of more. Jensen ached for it and pressed his head back against Jared’s shoulder.

“I’m scared,” he whispered later, when they were in bed and Jared had him held tight underneath his massive body. 

“I know, Jen, I’ll make it so good for you.” The nickname made Jensen tingle low in his groin and all of the nervousness drifted away in a cloud of need and lust.

He heard a click of a cap as a ghost of a finger pressed around his hole, teasing the muscle lightly before sliding in to the second knuckle. Jared swallowed Jensen’s groan with his mouth as he pressed firmly inside his body, all hesitation abandoned. One finger led to two and then three and he finally twisted them around to hit the gland that sent Jensen nearly flying off the bed. 

“It’s ok, baby, you’re so hot like this, so hot for me, go ahead and moan, I love it so much,” Jared babbled as he threaded his fingers out and fucked Jensen down onto them as he smeared lube around his inner walls.

“Jared, I can’t, it’s too much!” Jensen mumbled, but his body disagreed with his head and he thrust himself down onto Jared’s wrist as far as it could go.

“Trust me, Jen, trust me, I know what you need, I know how much you can take,” Jared licked down his collarbone, continuing until he could suck one pebbled nipple into his mouth and tug it between his teeth. 

Jensen was so overwhelmed with sensation that he missed the tear of the condom wrapper and squelching sound of more lube being stroked over him. His face contorted as Jared pushed something much larger against his poor virgin asshole, begging for entrance. The head finally popped through the ring of muscle and Jensen screamed. 

Jensen’s felt like all his nerve endings were in flames and tears spilled out of the corners of his eyes. Jared stilled suddenly and kissed the moisture from his face, whispering words of encouragement as he stroked down his sides. Eventually the pain subsided and this shattering sense of fullness soared throughout him. So this is what it felt like to belong to someone completely, he thought. This is what it felt like to be whole. 

“It’s okay, Jared, it’s okay,” Jensen breathed, astonished eyes meeting his as he pulled him closer by the shoulders.

Jared groaned “thank god” before pulling one of Jensen’s thighs higher and pounding in fully. They whined in unison the moment that Jared’s balls touched Jensen’s ass and they knew they were fully connected. 

After that it was pure delirium as they moved together. Jared pulled Jensen up onto his lap and wrapped solid forearms around his back. The angle made them both insane and they kissed like they were dying of hunger as they found their own natural rhythm. 

After what felt like an eternity Jared wrapped a hand around Jensen’s length and implored him to give in. “Come for me, Jen, only me, let me be the only one, come on, let me feel you around me, god.”

Jensen shattered at that, sobbing into Jared’s neck as he come all over both of them. Jared followed moments later as Jensen’s muscle clenched tight as a vice around him. 

They stayed that way for awhile, reveling in their connection and trying to contemplate what had really just happened. 

Suddenly, Jensen was overcome with words soaring through his mind and he jumped up, groaning as Jared’s softened member pulled out of him. He ran to his desk and grabbed a pad of paper and a pen before rushing back to the bed. 

“Turn around!” he ordered as Jared looked at him with a surprised, yet amused smile.

“Yes, sir,” Jared saluted, laying down on his stomach and grinning when he felt the notepad touch his back. Jensen scribbled furiously for nearly twenty minutes and Jared laid there silent and still, happy to be an inspiration to him. Finally, he threw down the pen and pressed a kiss between Jared’s sweat covered shoulder blades.

“Stay with me.”

Jared stilled, unsure of what was being asked of him. “What do you mean, Jen?”

Jensen rolled him over and straddled his hips, for the very first time unashamed of his nudity. He threaded his fingers in Jared’s and pressed them against his heart. “Jared, stay with me. Write with me. Live with me. Love with me.”

Jensen could see hundreds of emotions flickering in Jared’s hazel eyes, an entire lifetime of doubt and fear and hope. He couldn’t do anything but show that he was willing to give himself to Jared so he smiled until the lines around his eyes crinkled and his cheeks hurt.

Jared’s expression turned then, and Jensen knew it would all be okay.

“Yeah. Yes. Yes, Jen, I’ll stay with you.”

*****

“So Misha, Nick St. James is gay. The reason he became a computer hacker spy was to hide his true self but he’s ready to finally live up to his full potential and live the way he wants to, the way he needs to.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone. “Damn, how good is this Jared guy?”

Jared laughed happily as Jensen smacked him on the arm and shushed him. “This has nothing to do with Jared! This is about Nick and he’s a badass spy who happens to be awesomely and happily homosexual. Who has tons of gay sex. So much gay sex.”

“Well, Starz is one of the networks bidding on the rights. If we can get Barrowman to commit to the pilot, I think this could really work….” 

Jensen hung up the phone before he could hear the screws in Misha’s head work themselves to a grind. He grinned at Jared and cocked one eyebrow. 

“How about we outline the part where Nick meets his new handler?”

 

Tags: fic, jared/jensen
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